Wednesday, June 22, 2011


I love my family so much, but as of late it seems I have taken a turn for the worse. In my attitude? Or maybe it isn't even me. It very well might just be the way my Mother acts around the company of her boyfriend, Peter. Not always so much around him, but because of him.
When I say I have a 'fight' I don't mean yelling, or physical abuse or anything, I suppose I mean... Arguments? Well, I have had a few of them lately with my Mother. One about me supposedly being under weight (I'm not), and how I perceive my body image (this argument was beyond ridiculous), and then there were other silly arguments over things such as her not being home and going to her boyfriends house when my eldest sister comes home for the weekend. So the topics vary. And in some cases I know it isn't me, but on a whole - are others my fault? It's hard for me to judge sometimes.
Back in the days of year 7, I was a horrible person. To be quite frank, I was a bitch. I was friends with the wrong people, though I know I cannot blame my attitude entirely on the crowd I was apart of. But, at this time, I was so mean to my Mum, and I really wasn't myself. Though again, at the time - I didn't know I was being horrible. I just assumed that everyone was treating me unfairly. I was so self indulgent, it was ridiculous.
So, this brings me to my dilemma. On a whole - am I just turning into another snooty, mean girl? Am I being impractical and hard to deal with? Do I really just need to take a proper, hard look at myself, and find that I am the problem?
I guess, it's hard to say. But, I try to think of it as not to much of a problem. My Mother and I will always be close. And I've never known an entire extended family that is as close as mine. And I value that above almost anything else.

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