WE WOULD ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE

So, the time has come where I have decided to part with this blog. I won't deactivate it or anything, because I'll probably still need to get stuff from it from time to time, but just to let you (who ever my readership is, if I even have one) know to not expect anymore posts from me, I am giving you this last mediocre post. Basically I just want to start afresh on a whole new blog. And unfortunately I don't want to post the link here to whatever that blog may be.

We had an okay run. I'll never see you again, and I salute you.

TEEN SPIRIT

How do I suddenly have a craving for something that I haven't even tasted before? Something that isn't good for you, something that I am disgusted by, something that isn't attractive what so ever. I don't even know. These are odd times for me.

I think I have a big pot of angst mixed in with spoiled bitch bubbling up inside of me, waiting to explode everywhere. I don't want to do my homework, I'm questioning a career path that I've always been certain of, I loathe school. It's like all my ambition has just burnt out. Basically I just want to drop out of school and live offsome talent I have in me that I haven't yet discover.

Hopefully this will pass otherwise I'll probably fail year 10 and start wearing a backwards cap.

SATISFIED MIND

I want lots of things. I want an iPhone, I want to dye my hair red and mix in some blonde. I want Blink 182's new album and I want Cry Baby and Ferris Buellers Day Off. I want some more candles. I want a chalk board wall or maybe a completely white wall. I'm talking #ffffff ladies and gentleman.

I want to go sea kayaking and I want to go to Peru. I want to lay out in the sun all day.. I want to go and get noodlebox and share it with some of my lovely ladies. I want to star gaze at my Grannies and I want Summer to hurry up and be here already. I want to be at White Hall and run up and down the old stair case.

I want things that are so simple and I want things that cost money, that will only bring me brief happiness. Where as the simple ones, will give me memories that will make me smile when I think about them 6 years down the track.

We're all materialistic. I'm super materialistic. I get that. But there is nothing better than the sunshine or the pitch black sky on a cloudless night, with a blanket of stars for you to gaze at for hours.

Disclaimer - Remember when entering this blog don't forget to bring your sack of corny-ness and cliche' otherwise you'll probably die of embarrassment by just reading the things that go on in my head. 

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE SUMMER

I've decided I'd like to do more picture posts. My blog is boring enough as it is, I thought a little colour my tickle your fancies. Anyway, if you hadn't already gathered, I'm aching for summer. I can feel it in the air and I know I'll be completely healed by then. It all just sounds too appealing.

YOU'RE STILL A KID ANYWAY

I never had one of those little cash registers that most little girls do. I remember I would go to my friends house, and she would have this lovely pink and purple one, that even had a speaker so you could joyfully declare a clean up on imaginary isle 5. I wanted one of those so bad. I almost bought one when I was 10. Which seems so young now, but way too old for a fake cash register.
But hey, I found it hard to fully give up playing with Bratz dolls in year 6. Although then I was a complete and utter 'tom boy' so having bratz dolls was sort of secret to most of the people at my new school, although all of my family were well aware. I had 17. And the runway, the cafe, the scooter and the salon. In a way it's still cool. Of course, they weren't as trashy as they are today. But all their little accessories, their tiny earrings and laptops. That's crazy. There is so much detail in that.

In saying that though, I think I'd still be a fan of making your own toys. Although I was always one to jump on the trampoline, and I'd make up a new game every day after school. I'd pretend to be a secret agent that lived a double life, always with an American accent. Sometimes I'd break and sing a song that was in the moment. And I'd even get chalk and draw my room on the trampoline. That was so so great. I'd literally spend hours on that trampoline, and I'd always feel so embarrassed when someone would come out and catch me mid song.
I wasn't a good singer...

"C'EST LA VIE", SAY THE OLD FOLKS

Hello Pulp Fiction, I've wanted to meet you for so long. I always had this feeling in my stomach that I'd love you when ever I heard anything about you. And, what do you know? My suspicions were true. We've met, and I have this lovely feeling about the connection we have. Yes, you were nothing what I expected to be. But who doesn't love the art of surprise? You've given me two new favourite songs, a hilariously lame joke to pass on, new dance moves, endless quotes to include in my sometimes dull life and pop culture knowledge that I needed to pick up sooner or later.

On a non-prat level - I'M GETTING MY SURGERY SOON! In 23 days or something ridiculous like that. I'm excited and terrified and I hope my face doesn't change too much, or well - I hope it changes for the better. Which is what should happen, I mean there fixing a jaw that is out of line, so putting it where it's meant to be should... Oh god I don't know. Hopefully all turns out well and I don't feel too horrid for too long and having ghastly bruises under my eyes and swelling for months.

A list of things to look forward to -

23 September - School Finishes
27 September - Hopefully go to Melbourne and Ice Skate or Rock Climb + Shop/Eat/Have a generally good time
29 September - Jaw Surgery
17 November - Kings of Leon
Start of December - School is O-V-E-R
23/24 December - GO TO WHITE HALL FOR CHRISTMAS

Wowowow, when you put it like that it makes it seem like the end of the year is so so close. Which is crazy. That means I'm almost in year 11. And when you're in year 11 you're almost in year 12, and when you're in year 12 you're almost finished school. When you've finished school, well let's not talk about that. If you spend too much time thinking about your future and all the things that are going to happen / you want to do, you'll be dead before any of it will happen.

No, that is completely untrue. I can't even sell my own theory to my self. Sheesh, journalism here I come...

I WOKE UP TODAY

I can't be bothered right now. I just want to listen to this song and then I'll go put some real clothes on. I'll put a bit of make up on, do my hair, drink a glass of water, do the dishes, slowly die and then go to work.

It's hard to figure out where my head is at. I don't want this to be some in depth post or anything. That is ridiculous. I'd be totally contradicting myself, right? Because I make fun of cliche's. Do I? I don't know. Now I'm just spilling out any sentences that make their way into my brain full of swirling thoughts. Swirling thoughts that are lucky to make sense on a good day.

Work is only two hours, that's 20 dollars, plus three hours yesterday, that's 50 dollars. Plus the twenty dollars saved from last weeks shift, 70 dollars. This weeks pocket money, 80 dollars. By the end of work experience this week, I'll have 130 dollars. Then work on Saturday, 160 dollars. You know, that is if I don't spend a dime this week. Which is totally unlikely. If I end up with 150 dollars I'll be happy.

I don't know whether I am looking forward to work experience or not. I'm definitely not looking forward to commuting on the bus every day for the next week. Okay, I don't hate the bus ride. But there is only a few things in this world I hate more than the actual wait for the bus.

Okay, why I am I even being so negative? I'm going to be waiting tables and making coffee all week, and if I'm lucky I'll get free Chai Lattes thrown into the deal. Better than school.

CINEMATIC

I just watched Wild Target and I adored it! Bill Nighy is in it, and he is right up there in my list of favourite British actors. Also Rupert Grint is in it, so it just keeps on getting better. The rest of the cast includes Emily Blunt, Rupert Everett, Eileen Atkins and Martin Freeman. So pretty much, great cast (though I'm not that fond of Emily Blunt).

Rupert Grint's roll as Tony was very Ron Weasley-ish. But that's okay, he was so cute and it was really quite funny.

I suggest you go and download it and have a laugh because it is great, though - I don't think my sister thought as high of it as I did.

I really suck at giving movie reviews, but this isn't meant to be one. I am just telling you I watched it. Because this is my blog. I tell you things. Things in my head. That I think. Things that I do. That I... Do?

Oh my god what am I even saying.

A DILEMMA

I love my family so much, but as of late it seems I have taken a turn for the worse. In my attitude? Or maybe it isn't even me. It very well might just be the way my Mother acts around the company of her boyfriend, Peter. Not always so much around him, but because of him.

When I say I have a 'fight' I don't mean yelling, or physical abuse or anything, I suppose I mean... Arguments? Well, I have had a few of them lately with my Mother. One about me supposedly being under weight (I'm not), and how I perceive my body image (this argument was beyond ridiculous), and then there were other silly arguments over things such as her not being home and going to her boyfriends house when my eldest sister comes home for the weekend. So the topics vary. And in some cases I know it isn't me, but on a whole - are others my fault? It's hard for me to judge sometimes.

Back in the days of year 7, I was a horrible person. To be quite frank, I was a bitch. I was friends with the wrong people, though I know I cannot blame my attitude entirely on the crowd I was apart of. But, at this time, I was so mean to my Mum, and I really wasn't myself. Though again, at the time - I didn't know I was being horrible. I just assumed that everyone was treating me unfairly. I was so self indulgent, it was ridiculous.

So, this brings me to my dilemma. On a whole - am I just turning into another snooty, mean girl? Am I being impractical and hard to deal with? Do I really just need to take a proper, hard look at myself, and find that I am the problem?

I guess, it's hard to say. But, I try to think of it as not to much of a problem. My Mother and I will always be close. And I've never known an entire extended family that is as close as mine. And I value that above almost anything else.

New digs

So I've change my blog around twice today. And there is no way to get my original blog back. I am really sad about this. I just wanna go back to the old days - you know? Oh, the sadness.

Also the plain white background will probably be temporary. My whole blog feels a bit too monotone.

Argh, sites always gotta be changin' doesn't it?

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Art in le city.

Publication

I've never really thought about what would happen if people I know in real life started reading my blog. I mean, I already know a few do. But I barely ever share my link on facebook or anything. And I am not going to start, but I think making a zine and distributing it around my town would be cool. I've been thinking about it lately. As in, what the segments would be, etc. I think I might do it. Though - I do not want to commit to it so soon, because majority of the time when I do - I never end up following through. It's like I am afraid of commitment or something. You know what? That's probably right.

asdfghjkl

I neglect this blog too much. I feel like I use you, blog. I only ever want to write in this when I want to talk nonsense. I am almost certain that majority of my posts on this have no point, nor do they make any sense what so ever. And they are obviously not interesting, in the sense that nobody seems inclined to read my posts.

But you know what? I'm okay with that. I am not doing this for publicity, I am not writing what I think people would like. Because if I was I would just make this another cliche', wouldn't I? We all know what sells easy. Good old Ke$ha proved that, didn't she? I may hate her music and I don't exactly have a soft spot her. But she knows whats going to get her rich, and I am pretty sure she's aware that her music is nothing compared to the likings of Madonna or Lady Gaga. But she knows it entertains people, and I don't think she cares who her audience is, as long as it sells. I don't even know. I am rambling. How did I even begin to start talking about Ke$ha?

I don't know what to talk about now because I stopped typing. I swear I stop typing for a second and my fingers stop moving (obviously) and all thoughts and ideas just seep out onto the floor beneath me. Creating a big mess of horrible ideas that I will most likely never remember again, because they were not significant what so ever.

Thats my brain. Ladies and gentleman.

Actually probably not.

Untitled - Prologue

Prologue

The van turned up the long, gravel road. As it made it's way up to the mansion in front. The soft rumble of the engine was like that of the old heater back at her home. It was comforting, and the light streaming through the windows was just like the light that streamed in through her curtains in the early morning. Ariana was safe, she was at home, turning over in her bed, slowly moving her hair from her face. But she couldn't. What was restraining her? Why could she not move her hands? There was something clasped around them, how is this possible? And then it dawned on her.

Ariana's eyes flew open, shocked to see her surroundings, not knowing where she was, or how she got there. She let a scream out, as two, large men, with fangs and giant claws were trying to calm her down, or were they trying to harm her? She kicked, and squirmed, trying to free her wrists from the straps that had tied them to a handle in the back of a van. The men, who seemed to just be huge shadows now - were clawing at her now. Trying to hurt her. Trying to push her down. She screamed and screamed. But no one heard her. No one would ever hear her. Her mind was going blank, apart from the two men that sounded like they were laughing, shrieking, in fact.

Before she knew it, the van had stopped and she was pushed onto the ground. She could smell the sea near, but it didn't seem freeing. It suffocated her. The shadows pushed her through two large, wooden doors. She tried to break free, she did. She tried with all her might. But she was weak. Her bones seemed brittle, and her throat sore from screaming so much. She was pushed into a large white room, with only a bed and toilet. Nothing else. It was painfully bright, the fluorescent lights burning down on her. She couldn't take it. The door was shut behind her, and suddenly the darkness engulfed her. Masked men moving closer and closer to her, their menacing faces smirking at her, as tears ran down her face, and she yelled. Yelled for help, for anyone. They were coming, they were coming for her again, and she couldn't stop it. She was going to die. They were going to get her. And no matter how much she screamed, no body heard her.

I'm ace at life

So I will continue that story. Man, I will. Whether it be backwards like a manga or forwards like all you squares out there. But it will happen! I just have to do something about this holiday homework I have, and trying to organise a dinner/date/time/present for the whole fucking editorial team of a magazine. But you know, it's all good. I'm keeping calm and listening to Edward Sharpe.

Easter was good. Though can someone please enlighten me as to why we get chocolate? This is a rhetorical question as I know none of you are going to answer, and I will most likely go and google it after I finish this post. But anyway, chocolate? Why? I mean, I'm not complaining. I don't believe in God as the man, so Easter doesn't really hold any other value to me apart from chocolate and family.

Sometimes looking at gifs on tumblr make me want to have a seizure. Well, obviously not want to have one. But I feel like I am about to go into one. It's like I am staring into a freaking strobe light. Oh wow guys, I just don't think I am indie enough to handle the best of them. /wrists.

Tomorrow will either be filled with a movie marathon with good company, or playing PS1 games between episodes of prison break. Rockin' the holidays out in style.

This used to just say 'I' it was obviously an accident. I am going to leave it here for sentimental reasons

Daisy did this

Daisy consumed too much today. Daisy doesn't know what to do. Daisy Feels like poo. Daisy feels like a person that is a lot bigger than Daisy really is. Daisy might have to let this seep out of her. Daisy has been bad.

To pro the logue, or to not pro the uh... logue.

So I was wondering if I should write a prologue for the shit of a story that I started yesterday? If I ever decided to actually write another measly chapter.

The prologue would be a recount of the day that Ariana went to the clinic, and how fucked up she was. Just to give you a feel.

I think I will do it, and it is times like these that I wish my three followers and I actually talked, so you could give me some feedback. D':

I will either go ahead with it tonight or tomorrow. Most likely tomorrow as I have nothing planned as of yet. So uh, yeah - look forward to it!

Untitled

Chapter One?

Slowly pushing her fingers through sand, like a snake, slithering through a lonely desert, Ariana made circles around herself, as she looked out into the sea, her chin resting on her sand covered knee.
Deep down she knew that there was no putting off packing the remains of her things. No putting off saying awkward goodbyes to her fellow patients, her doctors, or the cooks. Though she may have come to Allan Coast unwillingly, it had become her home. This prospect, was inevitable, though hard to believe at the start of her stay, even if she wasn't in her right mind at the time.

Running her hands through her long, dark hair, she stood up, taking one last look at her surroundings, the beach, the sea that cast endless hope for her on her darkest days. A single tear fell down her cheek as she remembered all the times this beach had hosted as a salvage for her.
Wiping the tear away, she turned, and began her walk back to the large, Victorian mansion that was spread out in front of her.

"Promise you're going to write? Everyday. Or at least once a week. I reckon I'll go right back to wonderland with out you here. And I spose' your words are the best I can hope for now" A slim girl, with short dirty blonde hair, sprinkles of freckles adorning her pale face, said to Ariana, her British accent strong as ever.
"Of course, Lily. I'd trade places with you any day, you know" Ariana looked into the girls bright blue eyes, a glassy film covering them, giving away the fact that Lily was sadder than she intended her to know. Ariana smiled, "You'll be absolutely fine. You know your stronger than you give yourself credit for. And everybody loves you here, even with out me, or my words - you'll be out of here in no time. But I will write you, I promise"
The two girls looked at each other meaningfully, as if the memories they had shared were flashing between them. Ariana walked over to her and hugged her tightly, "Never forget that you are beautiful, never forget how lovely you really are" she whispered into Lily's ear.
They pulled away from each other and gave one last parting smile. "You better go then. Don't want them to get too fidgety, or there'll be havoc with the matron, and we'll all be holding it against you!" Lily told her, with a fake sense of authority.
They laughed in unison, and Ariana picked up the last of her bags. "I'll be seeing you" She said, and with that, walked out the door, tears stinging at her eyes.

She didn't dare let her gaze stray from the path in front of her. As her goodbyes to everything, and everyone had already been made. And if she had to go, then she just wanted to go, and get it over and done with.
The yellow taxi did not seem welcoming, nor did the taxi driver, though she still gave him a smile, as he packed the last of her things into the boot, and she slipped into the back seat, trying to not to think about what she was forcefully leaving behind, and instead, oh what was ahead of her.

Shrooms

Whoa whoa whoa, so before you go getting any ideas, or start picturing me trying to climb into a power socket, just wait a second. This post is not about me exploring the wide world of natures own hard core drugs.

Basically, I am watchig a movie at the moment. This movie, is called Shrooms. It is a horror film, made in 2007 directed by Paddy Breathnauch. And it. Is. Fucked. Up. I am watching it now holey like, I don't even. What is this. It's fucked up, I can't even express.

A group of American students decided to go to Ireland, go camping, get high off of shrooms and have a good ol' trip. One girl, though, has a special Shroom, which makes her have premonitions about all her friends being killed by this serial killer, that is hunting them all down. They all die apart from her. She gets saved, goes to hospital, then has a flash back and it turns out SHE killed all her friends when she was having her first trip. Right? So there IS NO serial killer. (My sister looked up the plot)

Yeah, I can't even. This is stupid, and screwed up. I do not see myself watching the end of this movie. But you guys should totally go and look up the plot summary, that's basically all you really need.

In the summer, oh I love her

This title is actually completely irrelevant, considering it isn't even Summer. But I have that song stuck in my head right now (In The Summer - Loon Lake).

The first two weeks of school Holidays have suddenly dawned on us, and Easter is on it's way. I really cannot wait. I love rhymes so much. My life. Seriously. But any how, I can't wait.

It'll be spent sitting around my Grannies kitchen table, eating chocolate, doing the daily quiz, playing various board games and conversing about what ever comes to mind. These times are like the highlights of my life. I could never feel more at home than at those moments. I am so corny right now, but really. I can't even put into words how much I love my family and the times we have, especially at my Grandparents house. It's always so cosy and snug.

In other news - PRISON BREAK.

Holyfuckingjustwow. This show has taken my life away and stowed it in a cupboard to be consumed by the Prison Break monster, and I ain't mad!

I never thought I would fall in love with this show, but even after watching the first episode, it had taken me. The person that made this, must be so smart, to think of the whole plot and all, the characters, the way Michael was going to break out, etc. And it just keeps you going and going and going. Never ever boring.

I am up to the second season now, probably half way through - or almost half way through. And it is still the best. And I can't even explain how much I am in love with Michael Scofield / Wentworth Miller.

If I was to recommend you any TV show to watch at the moment, it would be Prison break. Seriously, do it.

DO IT!

Here, have some photos from my joint birthday dinner

Complain blog

I really do not want Summer to be over.

The days are just starting to get hotter, and I am also starting to get my winter coat. No, I am not some yetti woman that grows hair everywhere to keep her warm. I mean, I am starting to get unsightly pale. It doesn't go down to well with me. I need my Vitamin D!

Also my hair ain't so red anymore. COME BACK VIBRANT PURPLE/RED!

I should rename this 'complain blog'

Nada.

So year 10 is...

A lot different. Homework is actually a must, year 11 Psychology is breathing down my neck, I have a horrible Indian teacher for my Maths class and I cannot understand anything he is saying - plus he just does not know how to teach... Annnnd I get no frees.

UH WHAT IS THIS?

No, it isn't all bad. English, Art, Literature and Philosophy are good.

Though these days it feels like there are not enough hours in the day. So much to do, so little time!

I joined a gym. Yeah, been totally pumpin' it guiz. But seriously, it's fun! I am going to be able to run a marathon by the end of this year, I'm tellin ya'!

I need to get another job also, but that requires me making a resume, getting a tax file number etc etc. I think I'll just stay with the job I've got now! Though, I was always going to keep it, it's just real jobs take so much effort. But this year is the year I am not lazy, so bring it on world!

I am totally going to regret saying that in a week.

Also, Summer is almost over. No no no no! Tell me it isn't so!

I love you

To compensate for the fact that... Well, I may or may not have been neglecting this blog lately.

Here is a post.

But this seems forced now, doesn't it?

Like saying 'I love you' to someone, just because they asked you to? They don't mean it. Or, well, that shouldn't be the way the recipient wants to hear it.

But once I start typing this isn't forced at all. Because I just start talking about nonsense, and sometimes... Well, it is actually half entertaining. At least I like to think that. And I like to think a lot of things. So I guess I am kind of just digging myself a hole here, and soon I am going to find China.

I have this coupon for a KFC Krusher sitting next to me. It is telling me I am going to save over %50 if I use this to buy a Krusher. Because It will only be $1.95. If I lived a block away from a KFC, I would be getting it right now. But this poor little coupon is probably just going to be stuffed in my wallet like all the others and forgotten about until I finally remember, but the offer will be over by then. Story of my life.

OH YEAH AND ALSO KINGS OF LEON HAS BEEN POSTPONED TILL NOVEMER. NO-FUCKING-VEMBER.

I was so excited because the concert was seriously looming. But now I have to wait nearly a whole year.

Finally saw Easy A. It's a funny movie, I liked it.

Don't kill me.

YESTERDAYAMY.TUMBLR.COM

Night time is the right time.

My body clock has been so fucked up lately. And I blame the holidays, because maybe I am just too immature to blame myself. Or maybe, my mind is just spinning words of meaningless shit. Option number 2 seems much more believable, if you ask me.

The school year is looming and I could not be more ecstatic. Seriously. Woo. Is it too hard to detect my sarcasm over the internet? I think so.

Have you heard of this show? It's called Freaks and Geeks. And it's like ohmygodwhat where have you been ALL MY LIFE?! It was before my time, but whatever. Want the box set now.

Oh hey, and guess what? It's my Birthday soon. It's gonna be good. Go water skiing and stuff. It'll be a riot. You know? Ha!

I'd like to live by the beach side, then I would wake up every morning (at a respectable time, mind you) go out to the beach, and do yoga or Thai Chi. Get in touch with my inner Zen. Then i'll be the next Daila Lama. Just wait, you'll see my insightful quotes in "Sayings of the Buddha" soon. Everyone will be following the ways of Amy. It'll be universal.

If I could do any ballet move, I would want it to be that one where they go on their tippy toes, and just spin, and spin, and spin, and spin. You could put me in a jewelery box. OH SO CUTE.

Night lovers.

Floods

My heart goes out to all those people suffering the floods. It's horribly, and scary and I cannot get over how brave people who have lost so much are being so brave. It is amazing. And it is so great to see everybody coming together to help fix this crazy event.

It's really is scary.

I hope that everybody bands together and hopes good Karma for all those great people that unfortunately are having not-great-at-all things happening to them. And also that everybody helps in anyway possible!

I wrote this sometime last year...

All I really want?

Well, there is loads of things I want. But you have to know, that there a differences between wants and needs.

A starving kid in Africa needs food and water, a shelter. They want it also.

But us? We think we need wants, it's all materialistic. And we don't know the difference, there for we don't

realise how selfish we are actually being. We think we need technology, new clothes, the newest music. But we

don't. We just have the resources to provide us with these things. So, who are we to blame? I'm not saying it's

the right thing to label wants as needs. I think we should know the difference. But if we have the money, work

hard for it, and have it in our heads that there are people in much worse conditions, then sure, go ahead and

be materialistic, but you will feel that pang of guilt. Of heart ache. But only if you truly understand. I write

about this, as if I am enlightened about this topic to the extent, but i'm not. I am aware that people every

where are living in poverty. That they have it much worse off than I could imagine, and compared to them - I am

spoilt rotten! But I am still materialistic at times, I still do it all though I am aware. The problem is I

don't truly understand. I think, the only way to truly understand how bad it is, is to actually go through it

yourself, experience that poverty. Only then, will you understand. Only then that it will really put things into

perspective.

But it's not like we are all going to go out there and throw ourselves out into the streets, right? There must

be some other way. A question that lays remaining. Though what an experiment it would be. Even just for one

month, go to Ethiopia or Ghana to live. Even for a week! Then you will see how bad they have it, how hard they

work. Will you even survive it, too?

Majority of us don't know anything about it. We pretend to, but we don't. It may seem like I am pretending to

know all about it, but I don't. I am just concerned about the issues that we need to arise more publicly. That

area is where I am informed.

The worst part is that even though I write about this like I am trying my best to make a difference, i'm not.

Not as hard as I could be trying. No where near. And there is so many people like this. Another problem.

Everybody talks about change, but nobody ever acts upon it.

When will we be for real?